Much of my life, especially during my formidable years, I relied heavily on this old saying. So much so that my method of operation was to bury wounds feelings deep inside my heart, build a fortress around me and rather than address these wounds I figured if I buried them long enough, time would eventually heal them or I would forget about them.
It took up until almost the age of 40 before I realized I was carrying a bunch of baggage and junk from my past that was only making my life more difficult. Instead of these wounds beginning to heal with time they were spreading to other areas of my body, resulting into some life threatening habits and problems.
I wish I could tell you I just woke up one day, voluntarily, and said today is the day I'm going to address these wounds, stop hurting myself and others and turn my life and my will over to the care of God. That is not my story. The truth is I'm a very slow learner and I had to experience and cause a lot of pain before I was willing to seek help and more important became willing to change. I'll continue to talk more about this and hopefully hearing more of my story might help someone with their buried heart wounds.
I was reading a scripture this week and it come from Matthew, "Happy are those who greatest desire is to do what God requires." (Matthew 5:6).
Simply enough, right? I wish I could say this is my greatest desire all the time, but it is not. Had it been 30 years ago and carried over from my youth into adulthood I'm sure I would not be sitting here blogging and you would not be reading this blog.
That, for me, is the most awesome thing that God does. He gives us the freedom of choice, he allows us to take our own individual journey and the most magnificant thing of all is that he loves us just as much as when we were living in the chaos as today when we are living in the sunlight of the spirit. His grace is amazing!
So, does "time heal all wounds"? I don't think so. My experience tells me that wounds must be addressed and that there must be a lot of forgiveness given to others for those lifelong wounds to begin to heal.
What wounds are you carrying on your shoulders or in your heart today?
Are you carrying a resentment that is over 20 or 30 years old?
Have you thought about turning these over to God and allowing him to carry your burdens?
I need to be reminded every single day that I have a loving, compassionate, forgiving God in my life that is happy to carry some of the burden for me.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
"Parable of the sower"
Upon the recommendation of a friend, I'm currently reading a book titled "crazy love" by Francis Chan. This is a really cool book and it is the first book I have ever read that challenges even the lukewarm Christian to evaluate their personal relationship with God. Chan makes you feel uncomfortable about your level of commitment to your faith and this is good. One of the many suggestions in his book, is Chan suggests that Jesus spoke in parables in order to weed out those who were not geniunely listening to him. Chan suggests Jesus was not interested in those who were faking it. This is hardcore, but a very interesting perspective on Jesus and his parables. One example for me is the parable of the sower.
Matthew 13:10-23 is one account of this parable. I have probably heard or read this parable over 100 times in my life. But, it was not until just within the last 4 months that I read it and the story really meant something to me. I was not faking it, I was genuinely listening and trying to get something out of the story.
I do not have to share all the details. However, I would like to suggest after reading this post you consider going back and reading this parable again and think about what your reading. We have the seed on the path, rocky places, thorns and the rich soil.
I love what Chan says - "Do not assume you are good soil"'. Chan says he thinks most American churchgoers are the soil that chokes the seed because of all the thorns. Thorns are anything that distracts us from God. Let me say that again ANYTHING THAT DISTRACTS US FROM GOD. Yes, that could be UK basketball (Ha Ha), addiction, envy, power, greed, too many commitments (the list can go on forever).
What soil is your faith living in today? At different periods of my life I have lived in each one of the places Jesus speaks about. The good news is I finally found the rich soil. Now I just need to pray the seeds blossum. Chan has me questioning today whether my level of faith in God is adequate enough. Quite possibly I'm just a lukewarm Christian that has some thorns in my life that I need to weed out.
Matthew 13:10-23 is one account of this parable. I have probably heard or read this parable over 100 times in my life. But, it was not until just within the last 4 months that I read it and the story really meant something to me. I was not faking it, I was genuinely listening and trying to get something out of the story.
I do not have to share all the details. However, I would like to suggest after reading this post you consider going back and reading this parable again and think about what your reading. We have the seed on the path, rocky places, thorns and the rich soil.
I love what Chan says - "Do not assume you are good soil"'. Chan says he thinks most American churchgoers are the soil that chokes the seed because of all the thorns. Thorns are anything that distracts us from God. Let me say that again ANYTHING THAT DISTRACTS US FROM GOD. Yes, that could be UK basketball (Ha Ha), addiction, envy, power, greed, too many commitments (the list can go on forever).
What soil is your faith living in today? At different periods of my life I have lived in each one of the places Jesus speaks about. The good news is I finally found the rich soil. Now I just need to pray the seeds blossum. Chan has me questioning today whether my level of faith in God is adequate enough. Quite possibly I'm just a lukewarm Christian that has some thorns in my life that I need to weed out.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Spiritual growth better life? Consequence?
This morning (Sunday,March 7, 2010) I was going through what has become a steady routine for me. During what I like to refer to as my "quiet time" in the mornings, I decided to look back in my journal and read a couple of entries. I found it very interesting that for 5 months now I have (without missing a day) made a journal entry, read some bible scripture and read from 2 other sources of devotional material I have come to rely on daily. After my reading time, I then try to shut off my brain for a couple of minutes and then I talk to God. This entire process, for me, takes between 20 - 25 minutes. But, the rewards are unmeasurable and I hope this routine is lifelong and results in contiuned future spiritual growth.
This morning, I cracked the window and with the sun shining and the birds singing, I realized I was experiencing a moment of peace and serenity. It was an awesome moment and all I can say is this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. It is amazing to even think that I would ever have a spiritual life and much less one that I'm willing to share with others. I'm an infant as it relates to my relationship to God.
If I were to try and correlate my spiritual life to golf, I would have to say I have not even come close to breaking 100 yet. It's progress, not profection. I'm going to close by just shouting out to God and telling Him thank you for doing for me things I could never do for myself. You are such and awesome God and your grace is amazing. Please keep me in the fairway of life and remind me daily that if I forget it's your will, not mine, then I will end up in the woods real fast.
This morning, I cracked the window and with the sun shining and the birds singing, I realized I was experiencing a moment of peace and serenity. It was an awesome moment and all I can say is this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. It is amazing to even think that I would ever have a spiritual life and much less one that I'm willing to share with others. I'm an infant as it relates to my relationship to God.
If I were to try and correlate my spiritual life to golf, I would have to say I have not even come close to breaking 100 yet. It's progress, not profection. I'm going to close by just shouting out to God and telling Him thank you for doing for me things I could never do for myself. You are such and awesome God and your grace is amazing. Please keep me in the fairway of life and remind me daily that if I forget it's your will, not mine, then I will end up in the woods real fast.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Good and Evil in combat
March 4, 2010
Today’s swing thought:
“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit desires what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.”
(Galatians 5:16-17)
Okay there is the “out”, the “excuse”, finally someone to blame. I have been playing the blame game my entire life. It’s not my fault, right? Ever heard about this game? Or heard someone say: It’s not my fault I did not go to college, It’s not my fault I was late, It’s not my fault I’m overweight, It’s not my fault I filed bankruptcy, It’s not my fault I’m addicted to ____. You could plug just about anything behind “It’s not my fault”. Is this not simply human nature?
For most it’s not. For the vast majority of people around the world doing the next right thing and not giving into sinful desires is perfectly normal. For me the scripture is not saying whose fault it is, but it is telling me life is all about making right choices. Sure I could go back and play the blame game for just about everything negative that ever happened in my life. I could say those were not bad decisions they just turned out with bad consequence, not my fault. But today I have to look at me in the mirror and the truth is I made the bad decisions that resulted into bad consequences.
I can look back, over the last 30 years, with a much clearer mind and see that many of my poor decision were the direct result of a spiritual problem. Some may not understand this next statement and no I’m not playing the blame game or sympathy card. But, one of the most glaring character defects in my life has been I’m a people pleaser. I allow others to influence my decision making (good and bad). I wanted to fit in so much that I would do just about anything to be apart of the “in crowd”. Hey let’s smash some mailboxes, okay. Let’s toilet paper the high school, okay. Let’s see how far you can drive with the lights off on this back road, okay.
Once I crossed the bad line a few times, early on in life, and received some pleasure or relief from the internal conflict going on in my mind, then I continued on a path of destruction that was going away from God, “into the woods”.
I like to say, at the time, I was young and dumb. But, the truth is some of this occurred in adulthood. Let me say – on the outside I was an adult. But, inside, my core I was still a scared little boy. I had really never grown up and I really had never stopped to think how the choices I was making were shaping my life. Looking back I’m not really sure where I lost control of the Spirit. But, today my desire is to “Live by the Spirit”.
Due to God’s grace, whatever good I receive or comes out of me today and is shared with others is more than I deserve.
See you in the fairway or on the green soon.
Chris
Today’s swing thought:
“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit desires what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.”
(Galatians 5:16-17)
Okay there is the “out”, the “excuse”, finally someone to blame. I have been playing the blame game my entire life. It’s not my fault, right? Ever heard about this game? Or heard someone say: It’s not my fault I did not go to college, It’s not my fault I was late, It’s not my fault I’m overweight, It’s not my fault I filed bankruptcy, It’s not my fault I’m addicted to ____. You could plug just about anything behind “It’s not my fault”. Is this not simply human nature?
For most it’s not. For the vast majority of people around the world doing the next right thing and not giving into sinful desires is perfectly normal. For me the scripture is not saying whose fault it is, but it is telling me life is all about making right choices. Sure I could go back and play the blame game for just about everything negative that ever happened in my life. I could say those were not bad decisions they just turned out with bad consequence, not my fault. But today I have to look at me in the mirror and the truth is I made the bad decisions that resulted into bad consequences.
I can look back, over the last 30 years, with a much clearer mind and see that many of my poor decision were the direct result of a spiritual problem. Some may not understand this next statement and no I’m not playing the blame game or sympathy card. But, one of the most glaring character defects in my life has been I’m a people pleaser. I allow others to influence my decision making (good and bad). I wanted to fit in so much that I would do just about anything to be apart of the “in crowd”. Hey let’s smash some mailboxes, okay. Let’s toilet paper the high school, okay. Let’s see how far you can drive with the lights off on this back road, okay.
Once I crossed the bad line a few times, early on in life, and received some pleasure or relief from the internal conflict going on in my mind, then I continued on a path of destruction that was going away from God, “into the woods”.
I like to say, at the time, I was young and dumb. But, the truth is some of this occurred in adulthood. Let me say – on the outside I was an adult. But, inside, my core I was still a scared little boy. I had really never grown up and I really had never stopped to think how the choices I was making were shaping my life. Looking back I’m not really sure where I lost control of the Spirit. But, today my desire is to “Live by the Spirit”.
Due to God’s grace, whatever good I receive or comes out of me today and is shared with others is more than I deserve.
See you in the fairway or on the green soon.
Chris
Monday, March 1, 2010
We must be born again
"For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy. But, when the goodness and loving kindness of God appeared, he saved us, not because of any works of righteousness that we had done, but according to his mercy, through the water of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit." (Titus 3:3-5, NRSV)
This scripture was apart of a Robert Lewis series, Men's Fraternity, that we had at Crestwood about 18 months ago. Dr. Lewis emphasized that in order to reach heaven we must all be born again.
I have mentioned before, I'm no saint and very new to spiritual living. I rely heavily on the old saying spiritual progress not spiritual perfection. I have, by the grace of God, had a spiritual experience and today God is doing for me things I could never do for myself.
Take for example, alcohol. I abused alcohol for over 20 years. Approximately 3 years ago (May 17, 2007) I had my last drink. Now you tell me how something that had been as much apart of my daily living as breathing, for 20+ YEARS, has now been removed from me. I do not even have a desire today to take a drink. That is the result of a spiritual experience. If God can change me he can change anyone.
So, how does this relate to golf? Well, in my opinion, it does not matter how long you have been away from the game (God) or how much you may have cursed the game while away. Whenever you are ready to come back and you have the sincere desire to ask the game for forgiveness, the game will forgive you and welcome you back as a born again player.
"This spirit He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ, so that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life." (Titus 3:6)
By the game's grace I'm here to tee it up again!
This scripture was apart of a Robert Lewis series, Men's Fraternity, that we had at Crestwood about 18 months ago. Dr. Lewis emphasized that in order to reach heaven we must all be born again.
I have mentioned before, I'm no saint and very new to spiritual living. I rely heavily on the old saying spiritual progress not spiritual perfection. I have, by the grace of God, had a spiritual experience and today God is doing for me things I could never do for myself.
Take for example, alcohol. I abused alcohol for over 20 years. Approximately 3 years ago (May 17, 2007) I had my last drink. Now you tell me how something that had been as much apart of my daily living as breathing, for 20+ YEARS, has now been removed from me. I do not even have a desire today to take a drink. That is the result of a spiritual experience. If God can change me he can change anyone.
So, how does this relate to golf? Well, in my opinion, it does not matter how long you have been away from the game (God) or how much you may have cursed the game while away. Whenever you are ready to come back and you have the sincere desire to ask the game for forgiveness, the game will forgive you and welcome you back as a born again player.
"This spirit He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ, so that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life." (Titus 3:6)
By the game's grace I'm here to tee it up again!
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